Vagabond in ITVille - A business case

The Vagabond and the new manager stood next to each other and stared at the barren landscape in front of them. It was still early on a cold morning in ITVille.

The new manager looked grim and concerned. It was hard to discern what was going on in his mind at that moment though the expression did convey that he was thinking about something sinister that either happened already or was about to happen. The Vagabond started humming.

“What’s that you are humming? The occasion doesn’t really warrant a song” the manager was grimly curious.

“Just an old.. ah…Beatles song, sir” the Vagabond assumed it must be some song written by someone who knew the English language really well.

The manager wasn’t ready to let go. He wanted to dig deeper in the hope that it could lighten up the mood before they get on with the task at hand. “Beatles? How does the song go? I think I can recognize a Beatles song if I hear one”.

“Oh it is not really much sir” the Vagabond replied. “But if you insist, here is how it goes –

The morning cold feels like a Dalmatian dog,

It could bite any moment but not the fog.

I could update all this in my activity log,

after I am done with the mandatory jog”.

The Vagabond stopped at this point as he sensed a change in color in the manager’s face. “and something like that.. I do not really know the actual lyrics” Vagabond finished quickly.

“The Beatles could have never written a song like this. I might not know much about other things but I sure do know my beatles” the manager’s response was sharp and intense. “Assuming it is a song nevertheless, how could the morning feel like a dog man? and where in the world is a JOG MANDATORY? WHERE? I SAY, WHERE?” The manager was hard pressed to control his emotions. Vagabond sensed danger and kept silent though he was very sure that the lyrics of the songs quite suit his life's journey if only one understood the deeper meaning.

The enormity of the project and the business case at hand coupled with the sudden surge of emotions disturbed the manager’s mental balance a little bit. He just had to let go. “BOO HOO HOO…. BOO HOO HOO….sniff.. and all I have is just you here. I am scared man, I am scared”.

The Vagabond was not very sure how to handle the situation but somehow wanted to lighten the manager’s mood a little bit. He tried to help.

“What you have just said sounds even better than the original Beatles song that I was humming sir. You are a great song writer yourself. See what you have just said –

BOO HOO HOO, BOO HOO HOO

all I have is just you,

but you have no clue

of the business case too”.

The manager recovered by this time and was back to being a professional. He liked the Vagabonds song as it was quite apt to the situation they were in. There were some additional cob-webs to clear before they started with the project though.

“You think artistes have business cases too? How can they think creatively when they have a business case to meet?”

The Vagabond was not quite sure of the answer but given the situation they were in, he thought it best to give a safe answer that would setup a positive mood and give a sense of going with the flow. “Of course every task will have a business case sir. I am sure Davinci painting the Casinos or Kalidas writing the poems were driven by the business cases of their respective masters. There is nothing in this world that happens without a business case and so our situation is neither peculiar nor grim for it”.

To the extent the manager taught his middle school children at home, he knew it was Piccasso or someone like that who painted some Cathedrals but he never heard of Davinci painting Casinos. “That could be part of the high school syllabus” he reasoned to himself. “What grade are your children Vaga?” he was just being curious. “I am not married sir” Vagabond could not find a link between his last statement and this question from the manager. The Vagabonds stature went a notch up in the managers’ view immediately. “He has so much knowledge and is not even married. He must be something”.

The two, now at ease with each other, surveyed the swaths of barren land that lay as far as their vision went. It was a daunting task, what they had to do. But the business case said it was possible and highly beneficial to ITVille.

“You need to catch 25% of the hens in this area within a radius of 5 kilometers. We have time till the end of the day today and we are the only team. You are the most skilled hen catcher in ITVille and I am the project manager with the responsibility to report on the progress to the stakeholders after every hour. Got it?” the manager wished that the Vagabond knew his hen-catching. There was no one else in the team and if the Vagabond did not know the job then the project was doomed so was the business case.

“I never caught a hen in my life before, sir” the Vagabond replied respectfully. “Yet if this is what we need to do, then this is what we need to do. I will catch 25% of the hens sir. I just have one question though. Where are the hens?”

The manager was quietly impressed with the determination in Vagabonds tone and sense of purpose that radiated from his body language. However he did not like the question from Vagabond. “We have committed to deliver 25% of the hens no matter where they are. You must look harder and deeper and you will find the hens. Step one is always to get the focus right and have the target firmly in your sights. Step two is to execute the task with precision and step 3, of course, is to report back to me so I can report to the stakeholders”.

The Vagabond did not really understand how, in a literal desert, he could find a hen no matter how harder and deeper he looked. But he did not want to sound negative with the manager either, lest his image takes a beating in ITVille. “One more question, sir. I promise this will be the last. Do the hens know that we are here to catch them? Is that the reason why they have gone hiding? Do you think it will help if we explain the business case to the leader of the hens so they surrender voluntarily instead of we or rather, I catching them?”

“That is about three questions, Vaga. You cannot be the most skilled hen catcher and still ask me questions relating to the domain that is your forte. Use your domain knowledge and past experience. The fact that you have neither is beside the point. What would you do if the hens are indeed hiding? And where would they hide if they really have to? Think Vaga and get your hands dirty instead standing here and asking questions. Get started man we do not have much time to lose or the business case will not make sense anymore”.

The Vagabond, now motivated enough, set out into the desert like landscape in search of the hens. However, he quickly came back to the base camp where the manager was stationed. “How do I report on progress sir? Should I just SMS every time I catch a hen?” The manager, a man who would age doing very little in life, was irritated with this line of questioning. “Of course, Vaga. Don’t you know we have a mobile application that helps reporting project status? Just update that and I shall generate a report just before meeting the stakeholders”. The Vagabond cursed himself for being so naïve and ran back into the project as quickly as he came.

The Vagabond was gone the whole morning and most of the afternoon. The manager checked the mobile app for the status updates but there were none. There was a stakeholder meeting late in the afternoon where it was decided that the business cases needed to be revised and the timeline for the project had to be extended to really get some benefits for ITVille. “Have you staffed the project with the right skilled resources, manager” the stakeholders asked. “Yes sir. Vagabond is on the job and he is by far the best hen catcher in the entire ITVille. And I agree with your decisions sir. The best of the lot need some time to familiarize with the new landscape and ferret out the hens. We absolutely will finish the project as per the revised business case sir”. The manager also wanted to check if there is a possibility of him moving onto some other project as the current one was sufficiently staffed and was on track. “It is in auto pilot mode, more or less” he explained the stakeholders.

“Right after we move out of this, manager” the key stakeholder laughed affectionately. “And please get all the reports on progress for the next meeting. We do not want to hear of any more excuses”.

The manager nodded and went back to the base camp where he waited, agitated, for the Vagabond’s status updates. There were none in the next hour or for the rest of the day.

Days passed. It’s been nearly two months since the Vagabond disappeared in search of the hens. Except for few sporadic messages of “none found” the manager did not knew much of his whereabouts or what he was even doing. The key stakeholders moved out of the project already and the manager’s turn was next.

The business case was gathering dust meanwhile.

Multi-color threaded culture

"Funny that you believe in those colored threads on your wrist"

"Every particle and wave has a natural frequency, including human body and thoughts in the mind. A thought, it is said, is just a wave form"

"OK"

"We do things, say stuff when our body/mind resonates with a certain situation or person. When things are not going our way, it basically means that we are having a frequency that is just resonating with the wrong situations or people"

"Keep going"

"A thread is an attempt to alter that frequency in the hope that we resonate differently. Same is the case with any bodily gear. That is why we feel certain types of clothes bring luck etc."

"Then why get the threads from the temple?"

"A temple is just not any place. It is believed to be a center of energy. The mantras and their frequency are expected to generate positive vibes. So threads from there are expected to compensate for negative frequencies"

"Sounds interesting but needs googling"

"You must and let me know what you find. While at it, tie some thread from a nearby temple. Your search might end up being positive :)"

"Ha ha ha....."

Vagabond in ITVille - An assignment

The Vagabond stared at the Samosa Chat plate in front of him and shuddered at the prospect the next fortnight held for him. "More junk food, more facebook and more English", he thought. He never really understood why, after his initial tryst with serendipity, everyone in ITVille continued to trust his non-existent capabilities.

"If we name and categorize all the work in this world, what I do will stand alone. No one can do this because no one knows what it is. And no one will do it because no one needs to do it". He thought about the events of the last few days that culminated with him sitting alone at midnight in an airport eating Samosa chat.

**

"You need to go to this customer and fix the burning problem" Vagabond's manager said.

"What problem of which customer? I do not know much about anything. How can I solve any problem?" the Vagabond was exasperated with the expectations that people had from his unseen and unheard of capabilities.

"Oh come on" the manager laughed indulgently. "Sometimes I wonder if I should credit you for your humility or if it is plain arrogance that you mask. Everyone knows you are the master of the subject and the customers love you for that reason alone".

"Master of what subject?" the Vagabond thought aloud. "I do not know anything, really. It is neither hubris nor humility. It is plain debris - what you think of me and what you think the customers think of me".

The manager looked at the Vagabond and smiled once again. 'Need to go through the routine once again' he said to himself. 'He has been in ITVille for 20 years now. When will this idiot realize that he is the only one who is ready to travel and that's his biggest qualification?'. He decided to use all his management skills, which he thought were impeccable, on the Vagabond and motivate him to travel one more time.

"Let me tell you something. When you say 'I do not know', you mean you do not know what you know. But we know. What are the managers for otherwise?" he tried to patronize the Vagabond a little bit.

"What do you mean I do not know what I know? I do not know. Period. Please do not make it more complicated than what it is already. I am tired of your expectations which are based on a perception created due to a false event many years ago. My real name is not even known to you, for God's sake. My name is not Vagabond and I have no skills. Please let me explain what happened on that eventful day". Vagabond had enough of the perception games and wanted to blurt out the truth about what happened all those years ago. The manager had his own compulsions and was in no mood to give up his image of being a crisis handler.

"Let us analyze this a little bit, Vaga" the manager said. "I know this is not the right time to do psyhco-analysis but then if you really believe that you are worthless then it is my duty to open yourself for you and make you see what I see when I see you". The last sentence was beyond the comprehension of Vagabond's limited mental capabilities. He agreed to play along therefore.

"Let us create a 2X2 matrix" the manager gave a knowing smile. "It is a simple and powerful technique to categorize thinking. Talking of power, it is also a key technique to make powerpoint presentations". He could see the growing confidence on the Vagabond's face. He obviously misunderstood an expression of confusion.

"Now let us make 2 rows and 2 columns. Let us call the two columns as "Known" and "Unknown" and same with the rows. Here now, what do you see? Four cells under 'Known Known', 'Known Unknown', 'Unknown Known' and 'Unknown Unknown'. Got it?" the manager hit the roof of his skills and was eager to hear a "yes" from the Vagabond. A "no" would mean disaster for him because he had nothing else to hold on to. Fortunately for him the Vagabond answered in the affirmative. The manager looked at the Vagabond with a grateful glint in his eyes. One could spot a slight amount of moisture if one wished to inspect the eyes further.

"Your problem Vaga is that you tend to stand within the first cell of 'Known Known' - Known to you and the world about what you know- and worry. What the world sees is the second cell which is 'Unknown known' - Capabilities of yourself unknown to you but that are known to the world. Now, please accept this analysis unconditionally and trust my judgement of you. You will do just fine" the manager sensed triumph lingering in the dark corner of the room that was fully lit.

The Vagabond looked at his manager and felt a rush of sympathy surging in himself. He decided to make one last attempt. "Assuming you know about me that I do not know about, what is it?". "What is what?" the manager was mildly irritated as he sensed movement in the dark corner of the fully lit room. "What is it that you know about me that I do not know?" the Vagabond was tactless. He was not able to spot the manager's message that the conversation was over and it was time to bring the corner creatures into the middle of the room.

The manager laughed nervously - a clear indication that he was hiding tremendous amount of permutations his mind was making just in case the Vagabond, a known nutcase, decides not to take up the assignment. "You are the BOSS of the GROSS. And you know GROSS is the most in-demand technique that we at ITVille specialize in and also the reason why our customers love us. We are the best in this and have provided some critical thought leadership to all our customers whenever they visited India to see the Taj Mahal. You have been in many of those presentations and should know this better than anyone. Now please do not say a word more and take up this assignment".

The Vagabond nodded, mildly satisfied that he was considered a GROSS guru though he was not very sure why there were not anymore GROSS people in ITVille which specialized in that technique. "One more trip to provide meaningless thought leadership on GROSS. Denial again of my privilege to have a say on my own time and one more opportunity to explore myself deeper".

He shook hands with the manager and proceeded to collect his tickets for the midnight flight. "Just so you know" the Vagabond said in parting. "There are no dark corners in the room". The manager didn't understand what the Vagabond was saying but attributed the statement to something deeper and pertaining to some sort of 'thought leadership'.

**

"And that is why I am at this airport at this hour eating Samosa chat" the Vagabond exclaimed loudly. He grew conscious of his surroundings and looked around to check if anyone could have heard him.

There was no one around at that eatery, of course.

Krishna

The setting wasn't something I'd have expected to find in the midst of a large gathering of bositerous crowd for a street festival. There was too much going around that plundered the senses. Yet it was the many ecstatic devotees chanting their mantra who made it almost impossible for two people to have a conversation.

I asked him nevertheless.

"Summarize Gita for me in one sentence"

"That's a tough ask", he said. He thought for some time.

"I can try in three very short ones, if you like"

I was happy for him to take a shot at it.

"I do not love anything. I do not hate anything. I am everything". He looked into my face and probably found mild apprehension. "Makes sense?"

"And the 'I' is Krishna, I suppose"

"Yes and, everything else as you can figure from the last sentence" he said

"And who is Krishna?"

"That's an incorrect question. The correct one will be to ask 'What'"

"Ok. So what is Krishna?"

"Krishna is the Consciousness"

He smiled and went back to join his mates in the chanting before I could close the conversation more formally.

Tiresome short trips to lands that are thousands of miles away. And then the small mercies

Time for Modern traditions

Casteism is bad. Sati is bad. So many Gods is bad. So much wastage on rituals is bad. So many blind beliefs are bad.

And most people through generations watched silently as a dominant part of their mental makeup was ridiculed. Most realized the fallacy of Caste and Sati. They tried to reconcile with the castigators or ended up in changed paths.

And then things changed. Information revolution made people more aware and confident. Yes there are bad things that got absorbed over centuries. The same are identified and will be cleaned albeit over a long time. But what of the tremendous good in this culture? Who would forsake an entire garden because of few rotten fruits? And who are these modernists and rationalists whose contempt for all that is not understood in their culture is only because of its familiarity? Why do they readily accept or ignore more outlandish claims of other cultures?

If what was truth hundred years ago is proven to be a falsehood now, why is it not possible that what is believed to be falsehood now would be proven true hundred years hence? If science stands for all things that could be explored in the external, why it's counterpart cannot be a culture that encourages you to explore the internal?

Many such thoughts are at the root of the current environment of perceived polarization. It is not Hindu vs the rest, it is not science vs religion, it is not left vs right. No. It is a battle to define identities. What are the now vocal Indians willing to forego in the name of modernization / rationalization. That is the crux and that is a great thing. Let the rationalists use more than just a lack of empirical data to disprove long held beliefs that seem to deliver results but not follow a cause-effect model. Let them disprove the possibility of an inner journey towards an ultimate truth. That is the challenge we have thanks to this redefined identity of the modern traditionalist.

We must be grateful for the times we are living in. Let us not spoil it with petty personal attacks. Let us remain tolerant to all thoughts and all identities.

Namaste

Our multi-skilled, multi-lingual and multi-tasking cab driver put on the brakes all of a sudden. He had just finished maneuvering a hair-pin bend while still on phone with a mate. He back tracked about 20 metres while looking up out of the window. Then stopping under a sprawling tree, he pointed at a black monkey in a meditative pose on one of the branches.

"Black Monkey" he said to us and then continued his phone conversation. After our initial excitement at spotting a rare animal subsided, the car moved on and the driver concluded his phone conversation.

"You have seen that monkey, no?" he started. "There is a belief around here that drinking a very small potion of that monkey's blood can cure all the health problems of human beings. Especially Asthma" the possession of such secret knowledge made him sound slightly pompous.

We all looked at him in disbelief.

"Yes sir. But it is very difficult to kill that monkey, you know why?"

"May be it is too quick and elusive" I said.

"That is there. But just about when one is ready to kill, it joins its hands in a 'Namasthe' posture, just like we do. Anyone with a heart will find it very difficult to kill such an animal. On the other hand the medicinal benefits of its blood are too many. Very tough sir"

"I don't believe it" I said.

"I have seen it with my own two eyes sir. When I was young, my uncle once took me into the jungle to kill a black monkey to get its blood for an ailing relative. But when he saw the monkey begging for its life with folded hands, he just could not kill it. So we had to let it go"

The car moved on and so did the conversation. But the drivers story set me thinking. Why'd a monkey stop resisting and start begging for its life? What does it know about forgiveness? Is it not a human trait to seek forgiveness while animals are just known to fight for their life till the very last? It was just fascinating information.

And then another possibility occured to me. From what I learnt, "Namasthe" is a 'sandhi' word in Sanskrit. Made of three smaller words - Na meaning No, Mah meaning me, Asthi meaning exists - the word literally translates to "No me exists". When we make a 'namaste' posture, it basically is like saying - "There is no me that you are looking at. It is just God looking through this body. Forget the physical body and look at the God in me". It is a very spiritual way of communicating according to some interpretations. Very few people are aware of such an interpretation even as they routinely use that gesture to mean a very dry 'hello'. Such a great meaning hidden in such a simple daily routine! And for a wild beast to make that gesture, fascinating.

The thought haunting me since then is - "Does the monkey know this meaning of that gesture?"

How will we know?

Chief Monk !

Now that the initial shock from the selection of Yogi Adityanath started to wear off, think about this. BJP had a complex analytical problem at hand. A mix of MLAs from 15+ different castes (rough guess) with various levels and permutations of getting alongness. Sample this - A and B get along but not with C and D; But when with E, A and C get along but not with B and D; However E gets along with B and D but not A and C. And so on. The strong heads and headstrongs struggled for a week trying to solve the equation that Amit Shahs complex candidate selection created.

All this while the solution was roaming around freely right in front of their eyes. The problem with the solution was that it was perceived as a solution for another problem and not the current one. So they struggled and struggled while the rest of the country admired their election win and media continued to give them backhanded compliments.

Then one of the selection panel guys, sipping a cutting chai while on a well deserved break away from the headmasterly gaze of Amit Shah, asked casually, "Who is that short guy in saffron robes going around happy and smiling while we are breaking our heads here? Whats his caste?"

"Why he is Yogi Adityanath. He is born a Rajput but technically casteless because he is a Yogi"

"Casteless? What does that mean in our current problem context? Which scenario does he fit into?"

"Actually, and technically, he doesn't fit into any of the permutations. He doesn't fit our problem space at all"

"Hmmm... If he is not part of the problem, then............."

"Eureka !!!"

They all ran to the headmaster with their solution while the happy solution himself was sitting next to and chatting with Amit Shah.

"We got the solution Amit Bhai. Or you have got the solution with you. We mean, while we solved the problem you have the solution. That is we have the solution but the solution is with you. Heck ! Can someone phrase the correct sentence here please?"

Amit Bhai smiled patronizingly. "I know you have the solution which is with me now. Do you believe that I was thinking of a CM with caste when I was selecting all those candidates? No way. The problem was solved upfront. This was only a test for your analytical skills. Congratulations ! You have earned your rightful place in my close circle. However you must work on your Comprehension and Sentence making"

The group nodded with impish happiness

And that is how UP got their new CM. GRE, CAT, GMAT type of questions are everywhere. There is no escape from this mental mania. So relax and enjoy the show folks.

Hanuman

"What about Hanuman Jayanti"

"What about it? "

"Why so much importance to a monkey?"

"Good question. Within yourself if you have to say there is a monkey, what could it be?"

"Why, the mind of course"

"You will also agree that the mind is powerful and capable of performing miracles, won't you?"

"Yes"

"When that monkey merges with the Lord it doesn't remain a monkey anymore. It becomes the Lord itself. Now think Hanuman and his devotion to Rama again. Does it make sense?"

"Belated happy Hanuman Jayanti"

Gods during Festivals

As the festival season begins, so will the usual rants from the usual suspects on the impact on environment of various things –from threads to idols. We must pay attention to the intention behind such rants for there might be some that are well meaning. But we must also pay attention to the millions of workers and their families who’d have invested their time and money into harnessing the demands of the festival season. From catering orders to selling wild flowers, colored threads to making photo frames and large idols - huge amount of work is anticipated. In a temple economy, festivals are the triggers for consumer spending and economic revival – more so at the bottom of the pyramid. So if anyone argues about the time and money based rationale for an “Abhishekam” or “Govinda or Ganesh”, we must also ask them the rationale for the time and money spent in a pub. I mean, exactly what’s the contribution of few large pegs of Whiskey consumed over couple of hours to any of human/environment indicators? Or for that matter any other non-essential spending like a fancy car or movie at a mall or jewelry or something else. Emotional satisfaction? Well for the religiously inclined, that is exactly what a ritual would offer too in addition to better quality family and social bonding. You will be ridiculed with data on how the liquor industry, for example, employs large number of people and contributes to state coffers etc. Well, so does any festival related activity with lot more self-employment and lot less impact on environment – direct and collateral. There will not be data available due to the informal nature of this activity. So be it. We know it works.

So let’s not only celebrate the spiritual essence of the festivals but also make sure we cut some spending on the other non-essential material items and spend the same (and more) on the rituals. That is also one way of helping the fellow beings with a much lesser environmental cost.