Who stole Bruce Lee's shirt?
Children are about the only humans in the modern civilization whose feet are firmly planted on the terra firma. Despite the best efforts of their grown up parents to confuse them with explanations that only create abstractions, they just stick to their guns. “Simple questions demanding simple answers” – that is all they care about. While the parents try to answer those simple questions with an eye on the future of their kid (“I think he is very smart to be able to ask such questions. May be time is just about right to give him a hint of Newton’s first law!”), the children probably get all the more worried at the inability of their parents to keep things simple. Simple children, Complex parents. It is that simple. May be not.
It happened almost a year ago when we moved into the new apartment. Every small deviation from normal was a cause for concern at the new home. Electric switches not functioning, hairline cracks on the walls, creaking doors or leaking taps – everything raised the lazy brows. Add to this the constant worry about any other occupants who moved in without making a payment of any kind, either to partly own the home or towards rental charges, one is busy talking to plumbers or electricians, or chasing ants and termites. Under these circumstances it was that, one morning I yelled at the top of my voice, ‘Why the hell are these ants lined up in the balcony”. Now, such rants are usually directed at my wife who dutifully ignores them or somehow links the current situation to my past Karma. But this time around, my 4 year old, who was busy coloring one of her recent paintings on the bedroom wall, decided to answer. Without even looking up she said, “May be they are hungry!”. “Who is hungry?”, I asked with a hint of impatience and scorn. “The ants”, she replied. “Don’t you see they are all going somewhere? It is to get their food”.
That was not the lesson number one, of course. There were occasions ever since my daughter started uttering gibberish (or so I thought), when she would ask simple questions only to elicit answers which would look like nonsense once she gives her own answers. Sometimes I used to come up with conspiracy theories that my wife is behind the scene and she is aiding and abetting my daughter to wreak such nasty insults on her learned father. But in a short time I realized that my thinking was unfair to my daughter. It was all her, of course. After multiple experiences, I decided it is just not easy to answer simple questions. “We are paid to solve complex problems and who cares if those complex problems are actually created so someone can pay us for solving them?”, I thought.
But parenting cannot stop even after you figured who is actually smarter. The world is a nasty place where simple thinking will not get you anywhere. Parenting is a job to ensure that the kid loses her natural smartness and picks up the artificial intelligence required to survive in the modern society. So, my efforts continued.
One day, while zapping through the hundreds of TV channels, I suddenly stopped at a channel playing a Bruce Lee movie, “Enter the dragon” or something like that. The movie was nearing climax and Bruce Lee was busy bashing people and running behind the villain. My smart brain made a quick calculation and prodded me to expose my daughter to some of Bruce Lee’s lightning fast karate moves. “It’d help spark an interest in her about karate”, I wisely decided. She was outside playing with her friends. I called her in and pleaded with her to watch TV for few minutes. She consented and sat in my lap to watch the movie. As Bruce Lee danced and pranced about, moving his fingers and hands and legs at super speeds, I started to explain about the virtues of karate. “You can beat the other person even if you are not as strong”, I told her. She did not say much and continued watching. I was glad she got interested and let her watch.
Bruce Lee continued beating up the Villain’s men and then begun to chase the Villain himself. They both entered a room full of mirrors and the crafty Villain started confusing Bruce with the mirror images. The Villain also acquired a metal hand by this time and was engaging in a full fledged Guerilla war in a single room. He’d emerge out of somewhere, scratch Bruce Lee’s back and then merge into one of the many mirror images. Bruce Lee was confused, I was anxious and my daughter was getting restless. Thankfully, the ordeal ended rather quickly when Bruce sorted the images to cull out the flesh and blood Villain. I didn’t want my daughter to see the gory end of the Villain so I turned her about and asked what she thought about Bruce Lee’s karate. She looked out to make sure she could join her friends outside and then looked at me and asked, “Why is Brush Li not wearing a shirt?”. She was not old enough to be sarcastic, I was sure. So, I told her again that it is about karate and how it’d help one to protect oneself. She gave me a surprised look and said, “But if Brush Li is not wearing shirt, will not mosquitoes bite him?”. She was worried about the missing shirt. I was worried that she was missing the point. And I guess she was worried that I was missing the point. I was getting impatient and said, “Some one stole his shirt” and then went on to explain the virtues of karate and the greatness of Bruce Lee.
My daughter was all ready to run away to join her friends by that time. She moved away a little, and asked one last time before sprinting out to play, “Who stole Brush Li’s shirt?”. I had no idea and was not inclined to answer. It was my turn to look out to see if she could join her friends outside. I let her go and wistfully turned my attention back to the movie. I had to quickly change the channel too. It didn't make sense anymore.
Niren
It happened almost a year ago when we moved into the new apartment. Every small deviation from normal was a cause for concern at the new home. Electric switches not functioning, hairline cracks on the walls, creaking doors or leaking taps – everything raised the lazy brows. Add to this the constant worry about any other occupants who moved in without making a payment of any kind, either to partly own the home or towards rental charges, one is busy talking to plumbers or electricians, or chasing ants and termites. Under these circumstances it was that, one morning I yelled at the top of my voice, ‘Why the hell are these ants lined up in the balcony”. Now, such rants are usually directed at my wife who dutifully ignores them or somehow links the current situation to my past Karma. But this time around, my 4 year old, who was busy coloring one of her recent paintings on the bedroom wall, decided to answer. Without even looking up she said, “May be they are hungry!”. “Who is hungry?”, I asked with a hint of impatience and scorn. “The ants”, she replied. “Don’t you see they are all going somewhere? It is to get their food”.
That was not the lesson number one, of course. There were occasions ever since my daughter started uttering gibberish (or so I thought), when she would ask simple questions only to elicit answers which would look like nonsense once she gives her own answers. Sometimes I used to come up with conspiracy theories that my wife is behind the scene and she is aiding and abetting my daughter to wreak such nasty insults on her learned father. But in a short time I realized that my thinking was unfair to my daughter. It was all her, of course. After multiple experiences, I decided it is just not easy to answer simple questions. “We are paid to solve complex problems and who cares if those complex problems are actually created so someone can pay us for solving them?”, I thought.
But parenting cannot stop even after you figured who is actually smarter. The world is a nasty place where simple thinking will not get you anywhere. Parenting is a job to ensure that the kid loses her natural smartness and picks up the artificial intelligence required to survive in the modern society. So, my efforts continued.
One day, while zapping through the hundreds of TV channels, I suddenly stopped at a channel playing a Bruce Lee movie, “Enter the dragon” or something like that. The movie was nearing climax and Bruce Lee was busy bashing people and running behind the villain. My smart brain made a quick calculation and prodded me to expose my daughter to some of Bruce Lee’s lightning fast karate moves. “It’d help spark an interest in her about karate”, I wisely decided. She was outside playing with her friends. I called her in and pleaded with her to watch TV for few minutes. She consented and sat in my lap to watch the movie. As Bruce Lee danced and pranced about, moving his fingers and hands and legs at super speeds, I started to explain about the virtues of karate. “You can beat the other person even if you are not as strong”, I told her. She did not say much and continued watching. I was glad she got interested and let her watch.
Bruce Lee continued beating up the Villain’s men and then begun to chase the Villain himself. They both entered a room full of mirrors and the crafty Villain started confusing Bruce with the mirror images. The Villain also acquired a metal hand by this time and was engaging in a full fledged Guerilla war in a single room. He’d emerge out of somewhere, scratch Bruce Lee’s back and then merge into one of the many mirror images. Bruce Lee was confused, I was anxious and my daughter was getting restless. Thankfully, the ordeal ended rather quickly when Bruce sorted the images to cull out the flesh and blood Villain. I didn’t want my daughter to see the gory end of the Villain so I turned her about and asked what she thought about Bruce Lee’s karate. She looked out to make sure she could join her friends outside and then looked at me and asked, “Why is Brush Li not wearing a shirt?”. She was not old enough to be sarcastic, I was sure. So, I told her again that it is about karate and how it’d help one to protect oneself. She gave me a surprised look and said, “But if Brush Li is not wearing shirt, will not mosquitoes bite him?”. She was worried about the missing shirt. I was worried that she was missing the point. And I guess she was worried that I was missing the point. I was getting impatient and said, “Some one stole his shirt” and then went on to explain the virtues of karate and the greatness of Bruce Lee.
My daughter was all ready to run away to join her friends by that time. She moved away a little, and asked one last time before sprinting out to play, “Who stole Brush Li’s shirt?”. I had no idea and was not inclined to answer. It was my turn to look out to see if she could join her friends outside. I let her go and wistfully turned my attention back to the movie. I had to quickly change the channel too. It didn't make sense anymore.
Niren
Comments