Ram the RIM

"Can you at least let Sir know that I am old and from a village in remote India? May be he will agree to see me then" The frail old man has been doing rounds of the Home Ministers office for more than a month now.

It all started when the man was reading a vernacular newspaper at his village and came across a rather peculiar headline. His village was hidden behind the hills that ran along the main road to the nearest town. Only people from the village would know the existence of human habitat beyond those mountains. For everyone else, the picturesque hill range presented a romantic outlet into natures arms. Poets of all kinds, sitting at the window seat in the state transport buses plying the main road, have regularly found expressions ranging from pure lust to spiritual bliss as they watched from their window the hill range pass by. Those verses related to pure lust made their entry into mainstream cinema while those about spiritual bliss were mostly piled up by the same poets (or their concerned parents) and burnt during one of those seasonal festivals. The villagers, however, knew exactly what lay beyond the hill range. The single walk path led into a large open ground sprinkled with shantys that all looked exactly the same. At the entrance to this village lay a shanty that served as the only restaurant in nearly 20 kilometre radius. And that was also the setting for people to discuss news from the outside world, mostly gathered from the old paper used as packaging material. Old people had serious discussions over items of news that served as triggers for discussions but had no significance in the dimensions of time & space.

It was during one such gatherings and debates that Maisaram came across the headline that said "Security threat from Blackberry" and was greatly pained. Maisaram was not educated enough to read the full story but was smart enough to pickup the basics of reading that he could use to read through a headline in what would seem to be an excruciatingly painful and intellectual process to others.

"How can Blackberry cause harm?" he wondered aloud. All the others around him nodded in agreement. There was concern on their faces at the audacity and irreverence of that statement. "When old Sabari served the Blackberries to Siya Ram, the divine was pleased. There after they had a long and private conversation over the Blackberries with Lakshman waiting patiently outside the hut", explained Maisaram. "How can a fruit like that become harmful? It is not only healthy it is divine too. If we do not understand this, then only God can help where this country is going". Some of the others wondered equally loudly. They all looked at another shanty which served as the village temple and heaved a collective sigh. That evening lasted late into the night and so did the debate over the news item. The same people who never found anything wrong with their living conditions and were never inspired to great achievements were suddenly gripped by the random  news item. There was a sense of purpose and urgency towards the end of the evening, which was already late night lit only by a small fire around which they had gathered. It was finally decided that each shanty would contribute something - rice, jaggery, salt, money, honey or whatever else - to bear the expenses for Maisaram to travel "out" and raise their collective voice with the concerned authority.

And Maisaram did exactly that. Equipped with 'assets', some money and the knowledge of his language he setout on a mission to meet the most concerned authority in the nation. He used a simple formula to filter non-concerned authorities. He would approach anyone enroute his endless journey and ask "are you the concerned authority?". The responses ranged from a simple "No" to complete bewilderment to shoo-shooing of someone who would qualify as a beggar in the urban landscape to sympathy and directions. Maisaram accepted all directions and ignored everything else. He was surprised to note how many directions he got from people he would have normally assumed as 'concerned authorities'. He met peons, clerks, officers, collectors, ministers, chief ministers, police officers along the way and none said "yes" to his question.

Finally, he reached New Delhi - mostly on transport provided by sympathetic rickshaw drivers along the way - and was making rounds of the Home Ministers office ever since. Every one pointed him to the HM as the 'concerned authority' but somehow he was unable to get his audience. Maisaram did not, forget understanding, even knew that there was someform of communication called 'subtle'. The peon at HMO shooed him away everyday only for him to sleep outside the gate of the HMO that night to reappear the next morning. All subtle hints for bribe fell flat as Maisaram just ignored that conversation as something that comes out of a 'non concerned authority' and therefore doesn't matter in his current quest. The men and women at HMO finally succumbed to Maisaram's persistence and simplicity and found a 5 minute slot for him to meet with the HM.

"All I want to tell you, sir" Maisaram started with the HM. The HM was surprised as to why someone who seemed so insignificant was even allowed into his office. Being a learned man himself he decided to hear Maisaram out nevertheless. Maisaram himself was not very sure about the man in Veshti who looked anything but 'concerned'. He stopped his statement and asked 'Are you the concerned authority?'. The HM was not sure about what to reply. Ownership is not something that people in this country accepted unless it involved real estate or bank accounts. The HM however did not anticipate anything substantial to come from someone who seemed so inconsequential as Maisaram. "Yes, I am" he replied confidently. Maisaram felt elated. It was a first yes he got in his quest and that naturally meant that he was at the right place.

"All I want to tell you sir" Maisaram restarted. "Is that it is irreverent and sacriligeious to say that Blackberry is a threat to national security. Blackberry has always been something over which secure conversations have been made and the details of those discussions have never been divulged".

The HM was taken aback completely. His sharp brain started exploring all permutations and combinations of the context for the words coming out of Maisaram. He was surprised that Research in Motion, a Canadian firm thriving on innovation has found ways to adapt their innovation to the Indian context so effectively. "This must be the most creative campaign ever made by any company in the history of capitalist business" he thought. So RIM wants the commonest of common Indians to present his view on the safety of their device and methods of usage. He wanted to challenge Maisaram.

"It is not safe, old man" said the HM. "The information goes out of the country and then re-enters the country. Which means the country lost track of the information in between". The HM was not very sure if Maisaram would follow what he was saying but having linked the old man to the RIM campaign, he was sure that the old face was just a disguise. He was expecting a young and beautiful model to jump out of her mask and bodysuit anytime.

"Historically, sir, it never went out" Maisaram replied equally confidently. "The information remained between the two people and no third party, leave alone someone outside the country, ever got hold of that information. Even when the third party was within the vicinity of the conversation. And that is the key differentiator of a Blackberry sir. It keeps you safe, healthy and connected to the divine when you have a conversation over it". The HM was smiling now. "Aha" he thought. So RIM now wants to exploit the religious beliefs of the masses to support their cause. "I can see through this RIM".

"That is what Blackberry wants us to believe, Old man. But we know, and our IT & Network security experts can vouch for this right now. The information flow is not transparent and is controlled by RIM. Do you want me to call the experts right now?" The HM buzzed in his PS and ordered him to send in the network security experts. The PS looked at Maisaram and was completely bewildered. He ran out hastily lest he was dragged into a seemingly technical discussion.

"No sir. Blackberry was only lucky to be served to the divine. It never wanted anything by itself, you know very well. At that time, there was no other option but the simple and safe Blackberry and the other bigger options were just not there". Maisaram stood his ground. The HM was now enjoying the discussion though he now developed a suspicion that Maisaram was really scientist in disguise. He was waiting for his Network security expert to come in to challenge Maisaram technically. He was worried that Maisaram might expose his technical emptiness soon. "Blackberry, of all the things, was never really simple if you ask me" the HM got into a conversational mode to engage Maisaram until the expert arrived. "If you ask me, Apple is a lot simpler and safer. And even Lemon, a local made, is safe. And let me make my position clear sir, I am not against the Blackberry. It is really the way RIM wants to do things is what I am worried about".

Maisaram noted the change in tone of the HM and was surprised that the divine is now referred to as RIM. "So be it. I will change too" he told himself. "RIM is a manifestation of the Good sir. Being the concerned authortiy how can you be worried about the ways of good? Do you want the ways of the bad to be prevalent? Is that not a bigger security threat?". The HM was worried that the Network expert had not yet arrived. He was sure there was something wrong with Apple too and may be even Lemon. But if challenged, he cannot make out a TV tower from a Cell tower. Does RIM want Apple and Lemon to be banned too? He decided to go ahead and ask the scientist in disguise. "So, my friend, you are saying that Apple, Lemon and others be banned too? Have a national security enquiry commission look into the matter and then allow each one of them back in on the basis of common guiding principles that the commission would table in its findings?"

"No sir. I am not as concerned about Apple and Lemon as I am worried about the perception around Blackberry. Let Apple and Lemon be. And I want you to personally tell people about the significance of Blackberry in our culture and the greatness of RIM". The HM was shocked at the gumption of the scientist to actually ask the Home Minister of the country to support a device and company which is perceived as a national threat. He was losing patience and control. He looked out past Maisaram to see if the Network Expert was arriving. No sign of him yet. "If that is the case, then why would Indonesia, Saudi Arabia and a whole of lot of other countries have a similar concern about Blackberry?" He asked impatiently. He knew the scientist would have an answer and was hoping that his technical limitations would not come in the way of his understanding the answer.

"I do not know much about those places, sir. But, if they are culturally and religiously similar to our country, then yes, that is the right question to ask. And if you are the 'concerned authority' for those places then I am happy to debate about them too'. Maisaram waited for an answer from the HM. The HM was even more cornered now. "No I am not the concerned authority for Indonesia and Saudi Arabia and others" he quickly retored. "Then leave them alone sir" Maisaram said humbly. "Lets talk about that for which you are the concerned authority". The HM was never beaten on logic even in the parliament. He was almost sure now that Maisaram is a scientist who has given it all up to become a saint. May be he was the Guru that he, the HM himself, was searching for all his life. Twenty years ago he accepted a Saradarji in turban as his Guru but that acceptance, it now seems, is slowly approaching its expiry date.

"The point is simple sir. We being Indians have an obligation to our culture, tradition and religion. Blackberry is significant in our culture and so is RIM, though I am not sure since when the pronunciation of the divine has changed. If an old woman can talk to the divine over a Blackberry, it ought to be something good and significant and symbolic to the culture. Lets not disrespect the symbols of our culture over uninformed views about national security sir. You being a concerned authority should be even more concerned when the wrong people are advising you".  The HM was completely lost now. Since when did technology so tightly integrate with the divine, culture, symbology and old women? He was really angry with his security experts and technology advisors for missing a whole trend cycle in technology. He was convinced that the scientist in front of him was far more learned than all his technical team put together. "I agree with you, dear sir" the HM stood up now and walked towards Maisaram. "I am as attached to our culture and tradition as you, the saint scientist, are" He promptly pointed to his Veshti even as he made the statement and his eyes were moist and his being overcome by the cultural bond he shared with Maisaram. "You are a great man who could give it all up to promote our culture and were able to spot the unseen significance of Blackberry and RIM towards our cultural preservation. I promise you, I will do everything in my capacity to clear the perception around Blackberry and request my technical team to have a discussion with you. I am going to set up a committee right now to delve deep into this" Just then the Network Expert and PS entered the room. They were shocked to see the HM standing like a school kid in front of Maisaram in full obeisance. The HM looked at the PS and the expert and asked "Did you hear what I said?". The two nodded affirmatively. "Treat the saint here with full respect and arrange for his safe transport back to the Jungles or Mountains wherever he is coming from". Maisaram was surprised to hear the HM mention Jungles and Mountains and wondered how the HM figured his place of dwelling. "That is because he is concerned" Maisaram said to himself.

That day Maisaram walked out of the HMs office just the same way as he had walked in an hour before. Everyone else in the office though, including the peon, have been completely transformed from what they were an hour ago. They stood in full respect as Maisaram walked out flanked by the security expert and PS both looking perplexed but respectful.

After somedays of respectful meetings with some of the other ministers of the national cabinet, Maisaram finally walked back on the single path to his village. He sat at the shanty restaurant, asked for a beedi and lit it. As everyone else gathered around him to hear his adventure, he smiled winningly and said "Now Siya Ram is called RIM in the outside world. People have not yet forgotten that Sabari served Blackberries to Siya Ram and had a warm discussion over the Blackberries. And when I told that to the 'concerned authority' he had no option but to accept what I said and treat me with full respect". Everyone looked satisfied that the worth of their Salt, Jaggery and other groceries was realized. They wanted to hear more details from Maisaram who was only too happy to start the story of his journey that changed the nation.