Random thoughts once again

It is difficult sometimes to look at the world and be impressed by it. I always believed that the mind has two realms to spend its time on - the world and the Self. The world with all its stories, glories, glitter, options and challenges normally is the more attractive one. There are way too many things in it for the mind to indulge itself without getting bored. The Self, on the other hand, is quite abstract. It has no variety. That aside what's in it itself is a moot point. There is a promised utopia in the Self that most religions want us to believe, but the road to utopia just doesn't seem to exist in this one vast expanse of a desert. There are no maps, no routes and no fun in the Self.

So the mind chooses the world. It is drawn to the pleasures and grits through the pains in anticipation of happiness. The mind engages with every aspect of the world - natural and human made. Food and drinks, friends and relatives, men and women, love and hate, wife and children, brothers and sisters, near and distant, emotions and feelings - there is just no end to what is available in the realm of the world. Add to that the occasional tryst with nature and animals, birds and bees, deep seas and outer spaces, and so on. The world provides options either to engage with human fantasies that show up in the form of societal structures or to engage with the nature - in case one gets bored or stressed with the human side of things. "Look at the mountains majestic and tall, the beauty of nature for one and all" one is tempted to ramble on with poetic frenzy. "Oh such beautiful world" the mind thinks.

The Self, in the meantime, has no visitors. It is just that lonely, vast and dull expanse with no obvious beginning or end. The mind, when extremely troubled by the world, casts its eye on the Self even if it is only for a brief while. "In comparison to what the world has got to offer, this Self has a long way to go". The mind finds Self boring because it cannot avoid comparing it with the world. Most religions would want us to believe that in Self there is bliss hidden somewhere but, how can one spend time in this dull, vast expanse without an assurance that there is happiness somewhere in it. Even if there is assured happiness, how long can search without a route map or even a well laid road? After a brief reconnaissance the mind decides to get back to the world. A good drink can save the day from the miseries but stepping into Self - now that seems like a dumb idea, the mind says.

So it gets back to the world. So much action, so much engagement, so much variety - this must certainly be Gods gift to the mankind. Spend time here and you will at least have a life that is full of color. The best of the human lot have made their name by leaving a great impression on the world. The world is where one is given ample opportunity to have a profession, wealth, children and what not. Having so much to gain here why would the mind even bother about the Self? Self can never be an equal to the world. 

But wait, where is the happiness though? Now that is a problem in both the realms anyways so why waste time on the dull?

"Some Gurus would want us to believe that if we spend enough time in the Self, bliss would appear by itself" someone says. "What do you mean spend enough time? How much time and where in Self?" the mind asks. "The Gurus say time and space are only relevant in the world not in the Self". "That is so much bunkum. If they do not know, they should say so" the mind shots back and convinces itself that the world is the best.

Over a period of repeated exhilaration and exasperation with the experiences of the world, the mind starts doubting if there is anything real in this world. "When I was thirsty for impressions, all these experiences looked interesting. But of late they do not seem to make sense anymore. There seems to be no end except death and no predictability except change. There is no eventual goal that we seem to be working towards. All the time spent experiencing pain, pleasure, jobs, friends, family and everything else does not seem to lead towards any particular goal. Even the prospect of leaving a legacy seems useless because the heroism of the past is also subject to change and could easily become irrelevant" the mind realizes. The world seems like a confusing place as the key ingredient, bodily energy, required to engage with the world seems to be on the wane. Suddenly the truth dawns "The world was never engaging with the mind. It was mind, aided by bodily energy, that engaged with the world. The world was always indifferent". The reasons for engaging with the world now seem insignificant.

The world as perceived by the mind doesn't seem like an interesting place anymore. It seems like one huge mirror that was only reflecting the imagination of the mind driven by its experiences and bodily energy. "The world is but a dull blank mirror"the mind says. The mind deduces some conclusions - while the Self appeared dull it must have been the active part because the world that appeared active was actually the dull part. At least there seems a definitive possibility, if one has faith, of realization if the mind decides to spend time wandering in the Self.

It is difficult now to look at the world and be impressed by it. The mind has to move on to the Self. The one vast, unchanging and mysterious realm that rewards its patient explorers with bliss. "Just be in the Self" and that is all seems to be the requirement. Just be and you shall be rewarded. And while at it if one happens to stare at that old mirror again, the Gurus say, it will just look like one vast, homogeneous expanse. Not boring though because, you know that the mirror is you your-self. 

There was never a world and a Self. 

PS: This is not based on experience but an extension to the thought that "You cannot recognize that in this world which is not in you".