Vagabond in ITVille - An assignment

The Vagabond stared at the Samosa Chat plate in front of him and shuddered at the prospect the next fortnight held for him. "More junk food, more facebook and more English", he thought. He never really understood why, after his initial tryst with serendipity, everyone in ITVille continued to trust his non-existent capabilities.

"If we name and categorize all the work in this world, what I do will stand alone. No one can do this because no one knows what it is. And no one will do it because no one needs to do it". He thought about the events of the last few days that culminated with him sitting alone at midnight in an airport eating Samosa chat.

**

"You need to go to this customer and fix the burning problem" Vagabond's manager said.

"What problem of which customer? I do not know much about anything. How can I solve any problem?" the Vagabond was exasperated with the expectations that people had from his unseen and unheard of capabilities.

"Oh come on" the manager laughed indulgently. "Sometimes I wonder if I should credit you for your humility or if it is plain arrogance that you mask. Everyone knows you are the master of the subject and the customers love you for that reason alone".

"Master of what subject?" the Vagabond thought aloud. "I do not know anything, really. It is neither hubris nor humility. It is plain debris - what you think of me and what you think the customers think of me".

The manager looked at the Vagabond and smiled once again. 'Need to go through the routine once again' he said to himself. 'He has been in ITVille for 20 years now. When will this idiot realize that he is the only one who is ready to travel and that's his biggest qualification?'. He decided to use all his management skills, which he thought were impeccable, on the Vagabond and motivate him to travel one more time.

"Let me tell you something. When you say 'I do not know', you mean you do not know what you know. But we know. What are the managers for otherwise?" he tried to patronize the Vagabond a little bit.

"What do you mean I do not know what I know? I do not know. Period. Please do not make it more complicated than what it is already. I am tired of your expectations which are based on a perception created due to a false event many years ago. My real name is not even known to you, for God's sake. My name is not Vagabond and I have no skills. Please let me explain what happened on that eventful day". Vagabond had enough of the perception games and wanted to blurt out the truth about what happened all those years ago. The manager had his own compulsions and was in no mood to give up his image of being a crisis handler.

"Let us analyze this a little bit, Vaga" the manager said. "I know this is not the right time to do psyhco-analysis but then if you really believe that you are worthless then it is my duty to open yourself for you and make you see what I see when I see you". The last sentence was beyond the comprehension of Vagabond's limited mental capabilities. He agreed to play along therefore.

"Let us create a 2X2 matrix" the manager gave a knowing smile. "It is a simple and powerful technique to categorize thinking. Talking of power, it is also a key technique to make powerpoint presentations". He could see the growing confidence on the Vagabond's face. He obviously misunderstood an expression of confusion.

"Now let us make 2 rows and 2 columns. Let us call the two columns as "Known" and "Unknown" and same with the rows. Here now, what do you see? Four cells under 'Known Known', 'Known Unknown', 'Unknown Known' and 'Unknown Unknown'. Got it?" the manager hit the roof of his skills and was eager to hear a "yes" from the Vagabond. A "no" would mean disaster for him because he had nothing else to hold on to. Fortunately for him the Vagabond answered in the affirmative. The manager looked at the Vagabond with a grateful glint in his eyes. One could spot a slight amount of moisture if one wished to inspect the eyes further.

"Your problem Vaga is that you tend to stand within the first cell of 'Known Known' - Known to you and the world about what you know- and worry. What the world sees is the second cell which is 'Unknown known' - Capabilities of yourself unknown to you but that are known to the world. Now, please accept this analysis unconditionally and trust my judgement of you. You will do just fine" the manager sensed triumph lingering in the dark corner of the room that was fully lit.

The Vagabond looked at his manager and felt a rush of sympathy surging in himself. He decided to make one last attempt. "Assuming you know about me that I do not know about, what is it?". "What is what?" the manager was mildly irritated as he sensed movement in the dark corner of the fully lit room. "What is it that you know about me that I do not know?" the Vagabond was tactless. He was not able to spot the manager's message that the conversation was over and it was time to bring the corner creatures into the middle of the room.

The manager laughed nervously - a clear indication that he was hiding tremendous amount of permutations his mind was making just in case the Vagabond, a known nutcase, decides not to take up the assignment. "You are the BOSS of the GROSS. And you know GROSS is the most in-demand technique that we at ITVille specialize in and also the reason why our customers love us. We are the best in this and have provided some critical thought leadership to all our customers whenever they visited India to see the Taj Mahal. You have been in many of those presentations and should know this better than anyone. Now please do not say a word more and take up this assignment".

The Vagabond nodded, mildly satisfied that he was considered a GROSS guru though he was not very sure why there were not anymore GROSS people in ITVille which specialized in that technique. "One more trip to provide meaningless thought leadership on GROSS. Denial again of my privilege to have a say on my own time and one more opportunity to explore myself deeper".

He shook hands with the manager and proceeded to collect his tickets for the midnight flight. "Just so you know" the Vagabond said in parting. "There are no dark corners in the room". The manager didn't understand what the Vagabond was saying but attributed the statement to something deeper and pertaining to some sort of 'thought leadership'.

**

"And that is why I am at this airport at this hour eating Samosa chat" the Vagabond exclaimed loudly. He grew conscious of his surroundings and looked around to check if anyone could have heard him.

There was no one around at that eatery, of course.